5 Ways Therapy Helps With Fear Of Change

If there’s one thing I’m uncomfortable with, it’s change.

I like to know what to expect. I like the familiar — routines, predictability, habit.

For many people, this sense of certainty provides safety and emotional security.

Often, this way of being is completely fine. But sometimes, even when everything looks “okay” on the outside, something inside starts to feel stuck.

It might be a work task that drains your energy. A relationship that needs clearer boundaries. Or a habit that’s costing you emotionally or financially.

And yet, the idea of change can feel overwhelming.

For many people, the fear of change is one of the main reasons they delay starting therapy. Clients often tell me they worry about what therapy might require of them — what they might have to confront, adjust or let go of.

Staying still can feel a lot safer than risking disruption.

Why Fear of Change is So Common

For many people change can signal lack of safety. They may fear what's ahead, what they might have to do or say or adjust. They may avoid or numb, not out of resistance but out of protection. It can feel a whole lot safer to keep still, distract or hide from that which we know caused us pain in the past.

For those of us who have very high expectations of ourselves, we may worry that change could backfire and blow up in our face.

What if making changes doesn’t help?

What if someone criticises my new approach?

What if I get it wrong?

A further complication may exist, in that for some, pushing outside a comfort zone can be the opposite of positive and healthy – it is potentially very damaging and dysregulating.

In fact, some of us may well be operating outside our ‘comfort zone’ on a daily basis, and so the idea of further disruption is complex and this needs to be fully understood.

So, I get it. There can be good reasons to be fearful. Valid explanations of why we hate change and why we have avoided therapy.

And yet even in our avoidance, even our justified fear, we can still recognise the need to consider a change. We can acknowledge the existence of tummy turning fear and still find the deep courage to show up anyway.

And this is why therapy must be gentle, trauma informed and individually paced and tailored.

At Yourstory Therapy I offer clients exactly this - a safe space to explore change and personalised support for the whole process.

How Therapy Supports Change

As a therapist working to support my clients with all types of change, I understand the anxiety and complexities that exist.

Here are 5 things that can make a real difference in how we approach change.

1.     Safety 

One of the most supportive things I can do for clients is create an environment and a relationship in which they feel safe. There is no judgement or fixing or pressure to get things right – but there is freedom to discuss, explore, refine and consider different aspects of themselves and their need or desire for change.

When we are able to move out of survival mode there is a marked increase in our capacity, agency, engagement and energy supporting the move towards even a small change. A felt sense of safety is key and prioritised in therapy.

2.     Pace 

Change does not need to be rushed.

Many clients benefit from approaching change gradually, in a measured and considered way. Slowing things down is often the first step, especially with regard to a client’s history of trauma and anxiety. They may have a nervous system that is potentially stuck in hypervigilence, with high energy and fast fight or flight responses.

During therapy we can work to resist the tendency to rush, to intentionally slow things down and lean into permission to approach change more mindfully. Clients can gently lean into an offer of time. This allows them to patiently process, prepare and get curious around the idea of change.

3.     Emotional Regulation and Support

Change can bring up powerful emotions – fear, regret, sadness, shame and anger.

Therapy for change involves receiving acceptance and support to process these complex emotions, so you can actually begin to make sense of them with more ease.

The very presence of a compassionate other can deeply impact the problems we face and the emotions that are present. The initiation to name the emotion, consider where we feel it in our body and find a way to express it safely can be a huge part of the journey of change.

4.     Identity  

When we develop a stronger sense of self it can often bring a sense of agency and empowerment. Therapy helps clients move towards self-acceptance, working out what they value, what they can let go of and what they need.

As they begin to understand themselves better, I witness a true self emerge and their ability to express their own unique needs starts to increase. Clients can feel more engaged with the idea of purpose and choices and boundaries.

As identity becomes clearer, change can feel less threatening and more purposeful. Clients can feel more aligned with who they are and what they deserve and how to get there.

5.     Coping Mechanisms 

Therapy for change can help clients understand their maladaptive behaviours may been a way of managing stress or avoiding pain, in order to fit in or feel safe.

Often, they will have been doing the very best they could, with what they had or what they knew, in order to cope and survive.

Therapy helps you understand these patterns with compassion, not judgement. As safety and awareness increase, reliance on survival coping reduces, making room for healthier, more sustainable ways of managing stress and change.

Do You Need Support?

If fear of change, anxiety around transitions or feeling stuck is something you’re experiencing, you don’t have to navigate it alone.

Yourstory Therapy can support you to move towards change in a way that feels safe, grounded, and respectful of your nervous system.

If you’d like to explore this further, you’re welcome to get in touch: info@yourstorytherapy.org